Hey guys,
I’ve been able to get to a few games over the last few weeks of kids who are a part of BT Basketball. I am happy to say that everyone is performing well and that is attributed to your hard work in the off-season. Keep it up!

Unfortunately, I’ve been noticing an unsettling trend. It’s certainly not a new trend, but since I’m usually on the sidelines and not in the stands, I don’t notice it that much. But when I sit in the stands, it’s unmistakeable. It has nothing to do with the kids on the floor or the effort being put forth.

It has everything to do with the parents.

Each game I go to, whether young kids, middle school, or high school, I get a little bit confused. I wonder if the game is still for the kids, or if it’s become strictly for the parents. It amazes me. I was at a middle school game recently and overheard (well, not exactly overheard since I was trying to watch the game and it was very obvious what was being said), an otherwise seemingly kind  mother talking about how angry she was that her son wasn’t playing. Every time the coach got up and looked down the bench, she would say, “well don’t pick them to be on the team if you’re not gonna play them!” And it continued to the point where she was mumbling just in ear shot of the surrounding fans (I swear I’m going to go crazy on this coach, I can’t believe this, I am going to go down there and make a scene and go nuts, I can’t take it anymore).

Really?

These are 8th graders.

First of all, NOT ALL KIDS CAN PLAY EVERY GAME. That makes me nuts. Kids know this when they make the team, why don’t the parents? If there are 5 kids allowed to play at one time, and 11 or 12 kids on the team, then simple math should tell you that not all kids are going to play every game. It’s just not the way it works. So why have the kids on the team if they’re not gong to play? Simple…
First, it’s extremely difficult to have a team with less than 10 kids as practice becomes inoperable.
Second, the kids towards the bottom of the talent list typically already know that they’re not as good as the better kids. HOWEVER, the majority of them still enjoy being part of a team, playing the game, being with friends, dressing in a uniform, and having the opportunity to get in the game, whenever that may be. Many of them also use their current status as motivation to get better!
Are any of those things bad at all? Would you rather have your kids NOT being part of a team, NOT have the opportunity to achieve, NOT learn the value of teamwork and sports. Would you rather have them be in front of the xbox MORE? I don’t think so.

Next, I attending a high school game where the crowd was just fantastic. The kids were into on both sides and it was a great atmosphere. I felt like I was down at Duke watching a game, it was that intense. The kids from each school were going back and forth with each other using chants, etc. All clean, good, gametime fun.
There was one kid on the foul line shooting a few. The opposing fans were cheering and doing what they could to make him miss. He made them both, to his credit. I look across the way and see the parents cheering obnoxiously back at the kids. Mocking them that their cheers didn’t work in making the kids miss. Almost getting into with the kids.

I was once again amazed. Why not let the kids be kids? Why not let the kids do their best to make the kid miss, why not let them have some fun? As long as it’s kept clean, what’s the big deal? When you were a kid, did you want some parent disparagingly come back at you when all you were doing is trying to help your team and your buddies win? I’m not saying don’t cheer for your son’s or daughter’s or their teammates, but holy smokes, don’t do it in a way that competes with the kids that are JUST BEING KIDS. High school sports are for the kids that participate and support them. Despite what others may think, it is not for the parents.

Lastly, it is very discouraging how little encouragement I hear throughout these games. All too often, I see a kid immediately look toward a parent when he misses a shot or turns the ball over. He should be looking towards the coach, not the parent. But he is already anticipating the discouragement from the parent. It is unfortunate. One parent yells about this, another about that. And they cheer when they’re supposed to cheer, after a made basket. How about some encouragement after a bad play????? I’m not at all saying to baby each kid, quite the contrary. I just believe strongly that kids respond waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more to encouragement than they do to the opposite. Every coaching stop that I’ve had has proven that to me.

Parents, do your kids a favor. Rememeber that they are kids. Remember that they are the ones playing. Remember what it was like when you were a kid. We lose touch of that as adults. Critique when necessary.

Just not always.

bt